USA, 2002
Review:
Joseph Henson
Finally, a movie that tackles the issue of exploitative female nudity in slasher films, and does so with a wickedly funny running joke that pays off in more ways than one. SLAUGHTER STUDIOS accomplishes that feat while also skewering the psychosis that must have gone into some of those wacky B monster movies from the 50s and 60s, all in the form of a cast of characters who skirt the edge between stock wannabe filmmakers and rejects from a Roger Corman production, each taking their own social deficiencies to absurd levels. It's also a movie capped off with one hell of a killer reveal, but we'll get to that later (no spoilers, but perhaps one vague clue).
The titular Slaughter Studios was once home to the very best (but mostly very worst) horror titles the 50s, 60s, 70s, and 80s had to offer, most from the archives produced and directed by a tyrant named Roman Grocer who, during the shooting of a low-budget gangster film, watched as one of his actors, a fellow in a hideous floppy-fringe wig with a very familiar name (which you will hear incessantly throughout, warning), is accidentally killed by a bullet lodged into a prop gun. Slaughter Studios closes, but its mystique lives on, with the ghost of the accidentally-slain actor [name redacted] rumored to haunt the abandoned studio. This intrigues uber fanboy and wannabe filmmaker Steve (Peter Stanovich) who, along with a motley assortment of hangers-on, decides to break into the cobweb-infested (and possibly haunted) studio to shoot one last horror picture, utilizing improvisation to hide from the deaf (and creepy, check) security guard while more or less using the very same tactics to shoot his movie, a tribute to those silly monster-a-go-go films Slaughter Studios once proudly produced. As the crew begin setting up to shoot, Steve becomes increasingly exasperated due to the usual film set shenanigans, including but not limited to one of his cast members growing more and more interested in exposing the supposed ghost that haunts the establishment (the name of which we dare not reveal) and less and less interested with appearing on camera, and a leading lady named Portia (more on her later) who grows increasingly unstable - and unconscious - as the night progresses. But, who else goes there? And why are they killing these ragtag filmmakers in increasingly violent ways?
Could it be that weirdo night watchman with the gimp ears?
I know! It's the director, Steve! He's had it up to here with all of the nonsense on set!
Or... Maybe it's that ghost whose name we dare not speak? Could [name redacted] be all too real?
If nothing else, SLAUGHTER STUDIOS is sure to whip the most astute armchair Agatha Christie fan into a frenzy with its clever capper. The outcome is completely different, but thematically I would liken it to, say, the ending to APRIL FOOL'S DAY (1986) in how its execution hinges on adhering to a strict set of rules with its humor, while also trying in earnest to stretch those rules to their snapping point. It's also a reveal I imagine will irritate those who don't quite get the joke, or don't necessarily care for the joke one way or the other, but none the less it is a startling suprise and remains one of the very few whodunit reveals to completely play me for a fool.
But beyond that closing masterstroke, SLAUGHTER STUDIOS is also, more or less, a darn fun time, shot on a very meager budget, but its cheapness assures that the movie looks exactly as it should. The titular studio is adorned with the kind of skid row set decorations that are effective only insomuch that their abundance is great, with even heavier use of smoke machines and bright lighting giving the setting that obvious (but inviting) 'film set' feng shui. The characters are all appropriately strange and some more than others get caught up in some unusually shocking murder set pieces that skirt dangerously close to undermining the film's otherwise sense of joviality, but they never quite teeter over into mean-spiritedness despite being exceedingly vicious. There's the usual time-appropriate humor that some may argue would not fly so well today, most of it coming from one character who suspiciously overstays his welcome despite being overly grabby with the female cast, and some may scoff at the seemingly endless list of reasons to disrobe said female cast, those reasons predicated of course on the flimsiest of excuses, but SLAUGHTER STUDIOS also has the good enough sense to comment on that in one very hilarious running joke involving a lesbian sex scene that perhaps goes on a little too long. The movie's sense of humor is very over the top and even intentionally-irritating in spurts, but I think that's more or less the point, and again the movie has the good enough sense to provide its humor (whether it resonates or not) with a powerful payoff (that ending is so good, really). The slasher stuff as it chugs along grows more operatic, tonally at odds with characters a few rooms away pretending to be scared of a man in a green rubber insect suit, but the contrast never really jars. It feels appropriate. Finally, if you're up on drinking games, take a shot every time a character says the name [redacted]. You will get hammered.
By far the film's second-in-command next to its stellar end reveal is the character of Portia, played by an actress named Tara Killian who, in the history of bitchy, self-absorbed mean girl characters who steal scenes away from other actors without really trying, must be the first to do so I would think while spending half the movie unconscious! Killian is so game as a character who runs the gamut between bimbo floozy and stuck up ice princess, popping pills indiscriminately, ignoring the most basic directions on set, perhaps because she's that self-absorbed or completely at odds with various words in the English language, I don't know, but she's also involved in the movie's funniest scene when she is 'attacked' by a character she believes intends to rape and then kill her, and rather than fight back, she deems it appropriate to hand out passive-aggressive pointers instead.
And that's SLAUGHTER STUDIOS in a nutshell: a zany, perhaps at times deliberately irritating, but none the less fun DTV slasher that takes the murder stuff seriously enough but laughs at pretty much everything else until it not only pulls the rug out from underneath you, but your shoes, too!
Oh, and the ghost's name is Justin, in case that wasn't obvious.
BODY COUNT 10:
Female 5 / Male 5
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