USA, 2025
Review:JA Kerswell
This low-budget but glossy love letter to ‘80s and ‘90s slashers threatens to collapse under the weight of its own ambition, yet just about succeeds thanks to its sheer enthusiasm (albeit with serious caveats and more loose threads than a hundred-year-old blanket). A masked killer known as The Doctor—who not only has a red right hand but a left one, too—is on a gory murder spree that crosses county lines, zeroing in on a group of at-risk-of-redundancy office workers on New Year’s Eve, who, before the night is out, are worrying more about losing their heads than their jobs. There is an infectious, hyperactive fun to be had here, but at times you do kind of wish the film would pop a Ritalin.
If it is ever clear what Hooper Industries actually does, I didn’t catch it. NEW FEARS EVE centres on suitably despondent and life-weary corporate drones whose only fear bigger than being stuck in their jobs is losing them. However, after a poor financial year, Mr Dugan (Dave Sheridan), the suitably douchy boss flanked by his zany assistant, Stephanie (Felissa Rose), breaks the news to staff that job cuts are on the horizon. Although he was good-natured enough not to spoil Christmas, many of them will be jobless for the New Year; he sweetens the pill by saying that at least they can all commiserate at the office party, which will still go ahead.
Three of the younger staff, Leslie (Lily-Claire Harvey), Moses (Matthew Tichenor), and Brian (Turner Vaughn), are stalked and chased by a figure with glowing red eyes, dressed as an old-timey plague doctor (Jesse McDonald). Mysteriously, the masked medic has seemingly let them live, but has been cutting a swath of gory mayhem across West Virginia before setting his sights on Kentucky. Meanwhile, local police—led by Leslie’s uncle—and the FBI, hot on the killer’s trail, uncover a warehouse with dozens of bodies eviscerated by elaborate murder devices (one ‘captain obvious’ suggesting they might have a serial killer on their hands). Unbeknownst to her, Leslie’s Mom and her teenage sister are murdered along with most of the management the day before the celebrations. And, come the close of the New Year’s office party, The Doctor will make sure there won’t be many old acquaintances left to see in the dawn …
NEW FEARS EVE looks great, with crisp, colourful, professionally framed cinematography that gives the production a sheen that belies its reported $75,000 budget. However, it sometimes stumbles, with issues that often plague lower-budget slasher movies: the dialogue is occasionally muffled, and the acting ranges from playfully knowing and serviceable to downright amateurish. This is perhaps not surprising, as it seems the entire population of Owensboro, Kentucky, has a cameo. Seriously, it’s like the DEBBIE DOES DALLAS of slasher movies. The humour perhaps misses more than it hits—although audience mileage may vary. How many times have slasher movies named their characters after those involved in the horror genre? Here we have the pure (Harry Warden from MY BLOODY VALENTINE (1981)) to the mangled (Norman Perkins, Nancy Price, Jordyn Argento, etc.). By the time I saw Coscarelli Bar, the joke was so stale that it had almost become funny again. At times, some of the line delivery veers dangerously close to Troma-esque levels (which I expect was the intention)—with SLEEPAWAY CAMP’s Rose and Sheridan (the SCARY MOVIE franchise’s Deputy Doofus) mugging outrageously for the camera. Again, this will all be a total turn-off for some, but others will lap it right up. Yet you’d have to be a total curmudgeon not to get swept up in its gruesomely cheerful mayhem—and it looks like everyone is having a whale of a time in front of and behind the camera.
Gorehounds, however, are likely to be united. NEW FEARS EVE features over 30+ onscreen death scenes with often effective practical splatter effects—some of which are downright novel and perhaps even a little ingenious, including eye socket penetration with a floppy dildo and someone having their intestines unravelling as they are flushed down a toilet. Whilst the script’s humour often veers towards the puerile (presumably to capture the raunchy, bawdy buffoonery of certain ‘80s films), it occasionally delivers a few clever zingers. One character, confronting The Doctor, quips that they look like the masked psycho from an STV ‘90s slasher flick. And the killer’s disguise is one of the film’s strongest aspects—ridiculous-looking yet just a little creepy.
Ultimately, and perhaps frustratingly, the filmmakers seemingly made no attempt to make NEW FEARS EVE a standalone film. They leave plot twists, potential conspiracies, the killer’s identity and motivation, and the fate of the surviving characters hanging in the air. Thankfully, this cliffhanger looks set to be resolved by an in-development sequel, but it was a gamble to leave so much hanging, like the intestines of several of its unluckier characters.
BODY COUNT 34:
Female 11 / Male 23
NEW FEARS EVE (2025) Trailer
