I Know What
   You Did 
       Last Summer

USA, 2025  

YOU GET THE ENDING YOU DESERVE

** 1/2

Directed by: Jennifer Kaytin Robinson

Starring: Madelyn Cline, Chase Sui Wonders, Jonah Hauer-King, Tyriq Withers, Sarah Pedgeon, Billy Campbell. Gabbriette Bechtel, Austin Nichols, Freddie Prinze Jr., Jennifer Love Hewitt 

Choice dialogue: People are always trying to kill that woman. I hope she's in therapy. 

Slasher Trash with Panache?

Review:JA Kerswell

The 2025 attempted reboot of the I KNOW WHAT YOU DID LAST SUMMER franchise seems to ignore the semi-serious tone of the original after 30 minutes. It then seemingly aims to replicate the fun and zany spirit of the sequel, but it's an awkward volte-face. If anything, it seems more in line with the straight-to-video second sequel in terms of quality. File under what were they thinking?
 
It starts well enough. Introducing us to the core group, who are nicely drawn, even with the limited character development they are afforded. The variation of the tragedy that sparks the campaign of terror is familiar enough, yet still offers a fresh twist to get us hooked. It is also a nice touch that it isn’t simply a redux, but rather the events from the first film and its sequel actually occurred.
 
However, where the film starts to hint that it may have a credibility problem is the fact that none of the characters have ever heard of the 1997 massacre. It takes the arrival of a true crime podcaster (Tyler Trevino) to turn them onto the fact that it happened at all—and for them to recognise the resemblances to past events they are now living. Supposedly, the mayor (an underutilised Billy Campbell) wiped all traces of the bloodbath from the internet. Yet the podcaster is making a series about it. Uh-huh.
 
The first appearance of the iconic fisherman is handled well enough, with an intimidating heft that is enhanced by the sound of work boots striking the floor heavily. However, this is somewhat undercut by later chase scenes and appearances by the killer that often fall short of the mark. Too many times, the sowester-clad maniac simply pops up and swipes that hook about, before vanishing; cutting to yet more handringing by the core group, who, like the audience, can’t fathom why everyone else is being killed and not them. And this all makes even less sense when we finally unmask the fisherman to find out their motive. 
 
The cameos from the cast of the first two films are admittedly a nice touch. It's a shame that they aren’t in a better movie. In some ways, we should be thankful that the character of Julie James (played by a returning Jennifer Love Hewitt) is a Temu lite version of post-traumatic stress Laurie Strode from the recent HALLOWEEN trilogy. Who needs to go through that again? However, she only appears once it is clear that the film is careening off the rails. Little of her character rings true. And it’s even worse for poor Ray, once again played by Freddie Prince Jr. I mean, seriously?
 
By the point that one of the group sees the “YOU’RE NEXT” written in steam and still decides to drink beers alone on the 4th July anniversary of the tragedy, and then walks straight past the silhouetted, but still clearly visible, fisherman before being stabbed to death, it was clear that this redux had jumped the shark. Which, I guess, is fitting given its marine setting. The plot jumps and bounces around like a ball bearing in a pinball machine, careening towards plot-holes with crazy abandon. I mean, what was up with the hard-faced-looking pastor, apart from being a red herring? It was like join-the-dots with Helen Keller. It perhaps doesn’t help that what would have benefited from being a taut 90 minutes trundles on for nearly two hours.
 
I wasn’t expecting VERTIGO (1958), but I also wasn't expecting the Asylum Presents cut-price holidays in Southport, either. Don’t get me wrong. I love cheesiness. Give me campiness. Give me ridiculous motives! However, I didn’t anticipate the film to go gleefully off the rails so completely by its close, which means nothing feels authentic. I guess this kamikaze attitude with Sony’s millions at least deserves some respect for its sheer chutzpah. I suspect a rewatch might yield better results now that I know what I’m in for. Still, I can’t help but feel that the tagline “You get the ending you deserve” is the director throwing shade at her audience.
 
Despite clumsily hinting at a sequel in a post-credits sequence, it seems unlikely that this franchise will be dredged up from the depths again anytime soon.   

BODY COUNT 9: 
Female 1 / Male 8

  1. Male dies in car crash
  2. Male is harpooned to death
  3. Female is strangled and hanged
  4. Male is slashed to death
  5. Male has his neck broken
  6. Male is stabbed to death
  7. Male gets hook through his neck
  8. Male found with his eyes gouged out
  9. Male shot through with a harpoon

I KNOW WHAT YOU DID LAST SUMMER (2025) (Trailer)



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