USA
Review: JA Kerswell
Porno filmmakers aim to go legit, making their own slice of slasher-movie heaven after seeing the box-office success of HALLOWEEN (1978) and FRIDAY THE 13TH (1980). Alex Montilla achieves the almost impossible with FRIDAY THE 69TH, his often very funny love-letter spoof of early ‘80s slashers, by almost convincing you that you’re watching a film from 1981. Even more remarkable, it was all shot on an iPhone.
Brash director Michael Caime (played by the director) and his long-suffering producer, Ivan (Eric Anderson), gather a ragtag group of porno players and try to sell them on making their own summer-camp slasher movie. At first, they are reluctant, especially when Ivan tells them there will be no sex in the film, but the promise of $$$ is enough to get them on board. However, aware of his players’ limited legit experience, the pair hire a genuine actor (Amy Letcher) to play Judy, the film’s Final Girl.
The action in FRIDAY THE 69TH cuts from the group’s table reading to the finished film, as Judy accompanies a group of very over-aged teenagers to Camp Hayewood, where they discover they are the only vacationers. The mousy, shy Judy is tolerated and teased by the rest of the group—made up of macho jock Blaine (Bud Galloway), his excitable blonde girlfriend Buffy (Anna Bess), and the requisite group joker Arnold (David Arnold Rubin)—with only Amber (Amber Nichole Kellerman) showing her kindness. A reprieve comes when Judy catches the eye of the hunky, skinny-dipping Billy (Robert Zoppo), the nephew of the camp’s owner Gus (Chris Offerman), and they begin a tentative romance.
However, around a campfire one evening, Billy tells the group that exactly ten years ago, two men were brutally murdered near where they are staying. They are also unaware that someone has recently murdered a local beekeeper, stolen his outfit, and killed random people in the vicinity, including a hitchhiking hippie the group briefly talked to en route to the camp. As the night continues, they pair off for sex and relaxation, unaware that the psycho beekeeper is soon going to be making quite the buzz at camp …
Montilla (who wrote, directed, and produced this) sure knows his early ‘80s slasher movies—with, presumably, the idea behind the film sparked by the many adult filmmakers of the time who made slasher movies as a way to break into mainstream filmmaking and cash in on the craze (Edwin Brown (THE PREY, 1984) and Tom DeSimone (HELL NIGHT, 1981) being just two examples). Fans of the period (and if you’re reading this, it’s almost a certainty that you are) will have a great time with the tropes skewered in FRIDAY THE 69TH. Specifically, Montilla bounces off the lower-budget slasher flicks that proliferated off the back of the franchise juggernauts, with a loving, knowing spoof of their often budgetary and thespian limitations; bad line readings and technical mishaps are held up and celebrated. That said, it was perhaps a missed opportunity not to include a scene where a character visits a local store and a local is roped in to give a heroically bad line reading as the owner. Shot on an iPhone, the film has been desaturated and scratched up to look like it was shot on 16mm, and the illusion is often surprisingly effective. Montilla doesn’t skimp on the red stuff either (while lampooning the limitations of low-grade latex and corn syrup), with an erect penis piercing out the back of a character’s head during a blowjob scene with a recently decapitated corpse, a gleefully outrageous standout moment.
Perhaps one misstep is including outdated, offensive words in the film, such as “fag,” “retard,” and “mulatto.” Sure, that kind of language occasionally popped up in early ‘80s slashers, and it provides contrast, but it gives the film a contrived edginess that seems at odds with its otherwise amiably silly, light-hearted approach.
Still, overall FRIDAY THE 69TH is a riotously good time. The cherry on the bloody cake is its pitch-perfect, convoluted last 20 minutes, which throws in everything from Hitler-worshipping Nazis, an insane twin, and more than one false ending.
BODY COUNT 13:
Female 4 / Male 9
FRIDAY THE 69TH (2026) - trailer
