Amsterdamned II 

Netherlands, 2025 

THERE'S SOMETHING WICKED IN THE WATER

***  

Directed by:  Dick Maas

Starring: Huub Stapel, Holly Mae Brood, Bas Keijzer, Ruben Brinkman, Tatum Dagelet, Pieter Van der Sman, Dunya Khayame,Steye van Dam, Stephanie Laurier, Mamoun Elyounoussi, Jacqueline Blom

Choice dialogue:  “So, we’re looking for a diver who kills people.”

Slasher Trash with Panache?

Review:JA Kerswell

AMSTERDAMNED was something of a satire on slasher movies from earlier in the 1980s, with the sheer ridiculousness and impracticality of the killer’s scuba outfit exploited for all its absurdity. However, beyond its impressively baroque and ghoulish murder set pieces, Maas’ main focus lay beyond the slasher-movie theatrics—something even more evident in its sequel. Unfortunately, the sequel’s plot is a soggy house of cards that starts to fall apart after the midpoint. A good 20 minutes are given over to the pursuit of a character who turns out to be a red herring, although it does give Maas a chance to recreate the first film’s celebrated speedboat chase through the city’s canals (albeit with less effect here). The film introduces the intriguing possibility that the killer may not be human when a professor attempts to warn the police about the legend of a subaquatic creature that has hunted the city’s waterways for centuries, called “The Bully”. Maas teases whether the murders are the work of a human hand or something more supernatural (or perhaps both). I won’t spoil it here, but the flip-flopping conclusion adds little clarity. Although the idea that, by the film’s close, the police think they have vanquished their ‘man’—when their foe is able to propel bodies twenty feet into the air and overturn a SWAT boat by swimming at it—is probably the film’s most ludicrous and illogical turn.
 
As with Maas’ 1988 film, AMSTERDAMNED II is not an outright comedy, but it does feature comedic elements that work in its favour without overwhelming its horror and action elements. In fact, it is where the film arguably succeeds the most. One of its long-running witty asides is that, in the first film, the authorities were worried the murders would scare away tourists (a reference to JAWS (1975)), but in the sequel—because of rampant over-tourism—it is suggested that the new slayings may actually be welcomed to help prevent overcrowding. Much of the other comedy comes from the now-retired Eric being completely out of touch and bemused by modern life. Struggling with his self-perceived irrelevance as both a man and an ex-cop, he finds a sense of purpose in investigating the rash of new murders, which makes for a nice story arc for his character. He also spars well with the younger detective, forming an odd-couple-turned-buddy-cops dynamic in the classic action-movie mould. Brood as Tara is good, too. Although her only character development is that she has an abused, junkie sister—a plot cul-de-sac that remains thoroughly underdeveloped. She also manages to miss hitting a suspect she shoots at point-blank range, not once but twice!
 
The film admittedly looks great, with expansive, sweeping overhead shots of Amsterdam’s iconic cityscape. However, some dodgy digital effects and the use of AI in certain sequences give the film an uncanny valley feel that threatens to break the suspension of disbelief. Maas had previously rejected the idea of a sequel but briefly flirted with an adjacent project, ROTTERDOOM (set in Rotterdam), in the 1990s. AMSTERDAMNED II was filmed in Amsterdam on a budget of 6.5 million at the tail end of 2024 and received a theatrical release in its home country. 
 
Perhaps Maas would be able to tidy up any loose ends in AMSTEDAMNED III if it happens, and get his full cryptid freak on. Although middling box office suggests this franchise is likely to stay at the bottom of the Amsterdam canals for at least another 37 years. 

BODY COUNT 12: 
Female 3 / Male 9

  1. Male dismembered offscreen
  2. Male found with his throat slit
  3. Female found with his throat slit
  4. Male found hung up and disemboweled
  5. Male drowns
  6. Female drowns
  7. Male sets himself on fire
  8. Male is hit with a harpoon
  9. Male is killed with a machete
  10. Male is killed with a machete
  11. Male is killed (method unseen)
  12. Female found dead

AMSTERDAMNED II (2025) Trailer

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