(review by The Blue Iris)

       Not to be confused with THE HOUSE THAT DRIPPED BLOOD, this film, known as PRANKS over in the UK, definitely has all of the typical ingredients for a good’n’cheezy 80’s school slasher film: the supply of attractive (or not so attractive) middle-aged 'college' students to terrorize, pointless killer POV shots, the 'final' girl, some cheap and gory special effects--but it has a bit extra that makes it stand on its own from the pack. There is a definite undertone of dread, there were a few good scares, and then the really depressing ending--but I’m getting a head of myself...

       There are very few actual pranks in the film and the only real way to remember that this is even supposed to be a dorm is the occasional references to "classes" and "cafeteria food". It could very easily have been 'The Apartment Complex that Dripped Blood' or something similar. The stars all appear to be old enough to HAVE college age children, but we just swallow believability and accept that these are the students about to be terrorized by the aforementioned 'terrifyingly real psychopathic killer'! Really, it’s just a maniac with a machete. Or drill. Or whatever else he can get his hands on...(what, no javelins?)

       At least the director(s) wasted no time in introducing the gore as the real star of the film. The gruesome opening scene comes screaming in out of nowhere and is never referenced again, but does provide a good jolt to get us going into the interminable credit sequence. The unfortunately laughable fingers-on-a-chalkboard soundtrack music sounds exactly like a hybrid of PSYCHO and FRIDAY the 13th--almost as irritating as Melanie Griffith trying to sing 'Wuthering Heights' after a couple of lagers. After what seems like HOURS of opening credits, we’re introduced to our main 'students'.

       Joanne, who looks like Tori Amos’s less-ethereal twin sister, is the leader of the group of students who are to stay behind over Christmas vacation to clear out the dorm. The building has been condemned and everything must be removed in two weeks...the perfect plot device to get our victims as far away from civilization as possible! To make things even worse, they’re shut in with a cranky old handyman and a weird fuzzy-haired guy who may or may not want them all dead. That’s the premise, and for a while it seems like pretty standard stuff. The actors say their lines as if expressing emotion would somehow cause the building to collapse on its own, and everyone watching can spend their time trying to pick out who’s the murderer, who’s going to die, etc. You’d also expect that the 'Vacant dorm + guys and girls = sex-o-rama!' but that isn’t the case with this chaste (and impressively dark) film. If you want gratuitous nudity and sex, you’d have more luck clicking frame-by-frame through a Disney film...you’re not going to find it here. Everyone keeps their clothes on and sleeps in separate rooms...with a madman running around and no parental supervision. And we’re supposed to believe this is COLLEGE?

       There’s an interesting bit of trivia in this film too--"What actress has since deleted this film from her resume?" The answer: Daphne Zuniga! In fact, she’s the only really convincing college student in the movie. She’s a mush-mouthed newcomer, more afraid of her lines than the nasty killer creeping behind her in the darkness. At least you can’t say she isn’t earnest enough...she and Tori Jr. seem like high school players in search of a production of 'Our Town'. (That’s not exactly a bad thing...at least these two project something.) Don’t get too attached to baby-faced Daphne however...she’s just one "I’ll be there in a minute! away from becoming part of the body count! She gets written out of the film in a particularly nasty way too. The moral of her story is, if you feel you MUST faint after seeing both of your parents murdered, do it as far away from a PARKING GARAGE as possible...at least until they invent front tire airbags. Her murder is also the one that makes the least amount of sense once the killer is revealed, but if its realism and clarity you’re looking for, go rent FACES OF DEATH. ("No one over 17 allowed to view this film")

       I really enjoyed this movie because, in spite of some slow parts in the beginning where we have to suffer through a few endless 'killer-cam' shots, the atmosphere more than makes up for these minor flaws. There are a few pretty nasty deaths along the way (sadly, there are NO javelins in the film), but the ending is the real reason to watch this movie. We’re treated to a fairly suspenseful, well-paced chase throughout the basement of the building from which the likable final girl must escape. I suppose the actual identity of the killer isn’t very scary, although the actor manages to portray 'totally-off-his-rocker' madness pretty well. (He’d probably feel at home rooming with the Young Ones) There’s no final explanatory scene, as in the slightly superior MY BLOODY VALENTINE, as to what set the boy off in the first place--he’s just 'nuts'. But just when you’re sure the movie has reached its ending and the survivors get to live happily ever after, the movie decides to throw a total curveball at us. There’s no letting us off the hook either...before you can ask, "Did he just do what I think he just did?" the credits roll and your teeth clench from the annoying music. A nice and gory down note, worthy of Morrissey. (Paul, that is...)

BODYCOUNT 10     female:4 / male:6

       1: Male strangled/hand split open with machete
       2: Male beaten with club spiked with nails
       3: Female garroted with wire
       4: Female has head run over with car
       5: Male has hole drilled in the back of his head
       6: Male hacked to pieces with machete
       7: Female boiled alive!
       8: Male beaten to death
       9: Male shot
       10: Female burned alive

            

Click on the right thumb to see the US 1 sheet poster or click on the left thumb to read an earlier (crappier!) review of the film under its UK title PRANKS (with banned video cover).