BLOOD SISTERS- page 2 

        OK, I'm not going to give you a blow-by-blow description of what happens next- and, on that note, I might as well point out now that there's enough soft-core romping in this flick to satisfy even the most jaded The girls make their way to the haunted whorehouse of horror (check out the reflective clothing!)of t&a hounds. … Needless to say that the boys rig out the house with all manner of, er, booby traps, and Linda drives the blindfolded maidens out to the house in a van (in a gloriously cheesy scene), for their night of hazing; and arrive at the house, which causes one of them to remark, "Oooh, like a Hitchcock reject!" (indeed). … It's here we get to know some of the girls a little better: Marnie, the bitchy mature student (perhaps a gag about how old the rest of the cast are; or even - cough! - Findlay's directorial aspirations); Kara (who mugs unconvincingly at the first sign of the supernatural); the myopic Bonnie; and my favourite, Alice- the long distance runner, who insists on wearing reflective clothing at all times ("It's not a fashion statement, you know!") … and, there are a couple of others but they've all kind of merged into one, if I'm brutally honest.

It all goes horribly wrong...        Anyway, things clunk along like a dream. The house is haunted, and pretty soon garter wearing ghosts start walking through doors. Linda has organised a scavenger hunt, (natch) which involves everyone wandering off in pairs into the dark (double natch); and pretty soon the gags make themselves apparent, but also provide the perfect camouflage for a real bonefide homicidal maniac to begin picking the girls off one-by-one…

        BLOOD SISTERS is a real hoot of a bad movie. If I thought the acting was bad when the gals were merely trying to act like bored teenagers you should see the kind of emoting that follows the house giving up some of "Oooh, I've come over all funny..."its tricks- it'd make Ed Wood choke on his popcorn! They are aided and abetted by some downright criminal special fx which seem to stretch to one of the girls holding a scarf and it suddenly being yanked out of her hand by an unseen force (or, more likely, an attached piece of string). T&a fans will be further pleased by the fact that several of the girls become 'possessed' by some of the ghosts of the dead prostitutes; a possession which manifests itself as lots of whipping off of tops and rubbing enthusiastically of breasts. Quite why the house is full of the ghosts of dead prostitutes when only one was killed in the prologue is one of those great-unsolved film mysteries. As is the reason behind why ghosts would feel the need to put on a lesbian floorshow- that esoteric afterlife, eh?!

        As for slasher thrills, well, 'thrills' isn't really the right word but there's some prime cheese pickings to be had here, for sure. I loved the scene where, Alice, selflessly volunteers to hightail it through the woods to the Rule No 1: ditch the reflective clothing when being chased in the woods by a mad slasher in a silk nightie...highway to raise the alarm. Being an experienced cross-country runner would have, you would have thought, enabled her to jog through the woods without going through all the usual girl-being-chased falling over shtick- but no. Still, as the pursuit ensues (probably helped by her glow in the dark road safety gear, doh!), you can clearly see the killer stack it big time in what certainly doesn't look like a scripted tumble! … Another scene which is worthy of some kind of mention, is when the surviving girls escape from the house and clamber into the van outside ("And, of course, like any good horror film the van won't start!"). Now, despite being relatively safe, the girls soon decide that it's too cold in the stationary van and opt to go back into the house because, "…at least we'll be warmer."! … Let's face it, they didn't deserve to live!

          Roberta Findlay has, here, lovingly created a film so bad that no amount of talent could emulate it. In fact, a byproduct of the film's general incompetence is the way it seemingly transcends just plain bad and ascends to a higher level; amazingly, via a mixture of cheap lighting, diabolical special effects, a plot with more holes than a lace doily, and frankly psychotic editing, BLOOD SISTERS actually, in places, becomes very weird indeed- with an almost dreamlike quality. But don't worry, Findlay ain't no Jean Cocteau!

           I couldn't honestly recommend this film to anyone looking for decent thrills, but fans of bad cinema, dodgy teen slasher flicks and Roberta Findlay take note- this is one hell of a ride, on an a runaway train to cheeseville.

BODYCOUNT 10     female:8 / male:2

       1) Male shot with shotgun
       2) Female shot with shotgun
       3) Female strangled with garter belt
       4) Female pushed in coffin and 'nailed' to death
       5) Male shot with shotgun
       6) Female shot with shotgun
       7) Female strangled and hung
       8) Female falls to her death
       9) Female stabbed to death
     10) Female stabbed to death

 

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