"THE MOUNTAINS ECHOED WITH THE SCREAMS OF TERROR"
directed by: Mats Helge,
Mike Jackson "A blood bath of terrifying violence
is created when a group of rock musicians and their film crew venture deep into
the snowy mountains to shoot scenes for their latest video.
The group are left stranded
after being cut off by a series of avalanches, and are forced to take refuge
in a remote mountain cabin. The crew decide on a nearby disused power station,
as the next shooting location, but soon discover that they are not alone as
they and the group fall into the clutches of the wild, mutant like creatures
that inhabit the power station. Fearing that their territory and existence is
being threatened they unleash a bloody reign of terror upon their unsuspecting
victims. "
choice dialogue:
starring: Jeff Harding, Naomi Kaneda, Michael Fitzpatrick (II), Brad Powell,
Peter Merrill, Harriet Robinson, Tina Shaw, Frances Kelly, Karina Lee, Helena
Jacks
(back of video blurb):
"You moron! You drag us up a mountain, practically get us all killed- and >>then<< you throw a party!"
- a model gives it some lip
Have you ever wondered what a remake of THE HILLS HAVE EYES would look like if it starred those poodle haired rockers of yesteryear, POISIN? No, neither had I - until I saw this film…
This Swedish horror
flick (trying to pass itself off as an American one) kicks off with a drunken
bozo returning home to bully his downtrodden wife out of the last of her house
keeping. As their small sons watch in horror they fight, he slashes
her throat (resulting in a nonfatal wound), and she manages to plant the knife
in his back as he stumbles out of the door. A fat bearded man turns up and
barks "murderer!" at her, she grabs her kids and disappears into the
icy night with the shouts of the man wringing in her ears….
Cut forward to a
snowy waste in 1985 and we are brought up to date with a solemn sounding voice-over
"For the next 40 years the family hid out in the middle of nowhere … now
intruders are on their way." Who are these intruders you may well ask?
Well, none other than a prancing, preening poodle rock band 'Solid Gold' and
their entourage which includes a group of big haired chicken dancin' models!
… Now, I have a big soft spot for horror flicks that pit models against the
unknown - as pure trash aesthetics go it don't get much better. I adore Amando
de Osorio's HORROR OF THE ZOMBIES (1974), where models in cha-cha heels
stumble around a ghost galleon; and DAWN OF THE MUMMY (1981), where
models in over sized sunglasses are chased amongst the sand dunes by perky
Egyptian zombies! It's cheese heaven- pure and simple. So, naturally I was
delighted to see that BLOOD TRACKS had
a whole gaggle of teased hair beauties bouncing around the snowdrifts, as
the group stumble across a deserted picturesque snowy mountain spot during
the search for the location for the band's new rock video. … I was also delighted
that the models got a whole scene to themselves when, in the back of the trailers
they squeeze into spandex leotards and backcomb their hair to frightening
heights. One of them, as she pulls on her costume, squeals to the seamstress
"Hey! …This is torn!", the seamstress replies, "No, it's supposed
to be like that- what d'ya think designers get paid for?!". … Then, shivering
in their skimpy costumes, one of them complains to the shoot's director, "I'm
going to freeze my tits off!", to which he quips back, " Who told you
snow was warm, baby?!" ... (Hey, hey- I'm in trash heaven here!) … They
then get to gyrate and pout as the band warble through a rawk atrocity called
'Rat-trap'. … I guess I could describe what the band look like but, as the
saying goes, a picture speaks a thousand words. Put it this way, if you lived
through the mid-late 80's you'll be, like me, haunted by the frightening flashbacks
the
mere
whiff of hairspray can bring on. If you don't recall the period then just
count yourself lucky. As for their thespian abilities, well, as with all the
usual rock acts trying their hand at a little acting it's all they can do
to hit their spots and not look straight at the camera!
Anyway, it can't all be model antics (more's the pity). Bob, the shoot's director (played by a phenomenally bad actor giving perhaps one of the funniest performances in >>all<< horrordom) had earlier spotted a deserted building. John, the hunky seemingly ironically dubbed helicopter pilot (who's along for the ride), says, "..looks good from here but up close its just a factory". However, Bob in an unlikely rhapsody, enthuses, "It's gorgeous- it's just what we want!". … We'll, wouldn't you have known it, but housed in that particular building is the runaway Mother and her sons who have, in a somewhat unlikely plot move devolved into a group of oatmeal faced mutants ALA a certain Wes Craven movie, and have already slaughtered a workman who encroached on their territory and it's clear they won't be any friendlier to this new bunch of hairspray infidels- "they deserve no better", mutters the mutant matriarch, "...look at their women!".
After
what seems like an endless stream of avalanche stock footage (which gives
rise to this classic dialogue- "Avalanches?
Isn't that a little dangerous?" inquires a twitchy model, "Well,
yeah - it could muss up your hair a little." replies one of the rockers
laconically) the whole fast living group find themselves cut off from the
rest of the world- and in a memorable scene they have to dig out one of the
rockers and a naked groupie from a buried car (which is even better than it
sounds due to the fact that said naked groupie throws a hissy-fit for no apparent
reason when a floppy eared bunny rabbit twitches its nose at her).
Unconcerned by their predicament everyone gets down to some serious partying in an adjoining cabin, whilst a few of the group go to check out tomorrow's new location- the (not so) abandoned power station. This is enough to tip the mutants, who had previously been content to goggle at the hip gyrating models (as you would), right over the edge. All hell breaks loose. It's an all out battle of the wits (unfortunately neither group came armed), between the kareoke Craven mutant family and the glam rock/model coalition. Who would you put your money on?
BLOOD
TRACKS should be an absolute blast. I won't give away the ending but it
pretty much goes exactly where you think it will- one by one, or in small
groups, they venture into the derelict power station where they are picked
off
by lurking monsters and by their elaborate booby traps (I've never seen so
much mangled spandex and studded leather in my whole life). Every SCOOBY-DOO'ish
cliché is followed to the letter- right down to one character saying
to another, "This place is too big- let's split up!" as they
explore the mutant's lair. If you noticed I said the film >>should<<
be a blast, much of it is, but the print is way too dark (making it difficult
to see what's happening during much of the time), plus the version I saw looked
like it had much of its gore cut out making some of the scenes choppy and
fairly indecipherable (especially given that there are eighteen (count 'em!)
deaths in the movie). Now, the makers can't be blamed for snip happy censors
or bad video transfers, but the film suffers from inconsistent pacing and
lazy plotting, and I couldn't quite shake off the feeling that some of the
cheesiness was a little contrived...
Still, with all said and done, there's enough here to heartily recommend BLOOD TRACKS to any true aficionado of bad horror movies- especially if you can track down an uncut copy (let me know if you do). And, as for me, the scene, where a billowing haired model tries to escape from the marauding mutants on a snow mobile, alone was worth the few quid I shelled out for it and the film now sits proudly next to my copies of DAWN OF THE MUMMY and HORROR OF THE ZOMBIES. The world needs more models vs. monsters movies- and that's an order!
BODYCOUNT
18
female:6 / male:12
1) Male stabbed in back
2) Male stabbed in back
3) Male has neck grabbed and broken
4) Male decapitated (head seen
rolling)
5) Male set on fire
6) Female ripped apart by booby
trap
7) Female impaled on spike
8) Male has throat cut
9) Female killed (method unseen)
10) Male has eye bitten out (!)
11) Female killed (method unseen)
12) Male run through with knife
13) Male shot to death
14) Male gets an axe in his head and falls
to his death
15) Female burns to death
16) Female impaled on booby trap
17) Male shot and falls to his death
18) Male shot dead