USA, 1978
Review:
JA Kerswell
This slab of Grindhouse was rescued from obscurity by its place on the infamous ‘video nasties’ list in the UK. It is a thoroughly terrible but strangely mesmerising low-rent gore epic that combines throbbing disco and throbbing pulled-out hearts. A smooth-talking, bug-eyed lothario with a penchant for “evil” ladies slinks into New Orleans nightlife to pick up sex workers to sacrifice to an Aztec God. A polyester epic that’s a real snapshot of the sleazier side of the late 70s, but not without a slice of humour. Often inept, but occasionally hilarious (intentionally and otherwise)—and accompanied by a surprisingly rousing disco/funk soundtrack.
The unimaginatively named John (William Metzo) visits a nightclub and tells the moustachioed bartender, “I’m new in the city, and I’m looking for something … different.” With a like of the dramatic pause, he follows this with, “Of all the ladies in the bar tonight, which one do you think is the most … evil?” He asks a couple of sex workers at the bar who they think is the most “evil”, and they point out Shirley (Laura Misch Owens). I’m not sure what Shirley had done to them, but it turns out that she warms to the idea, telling John: “I could take first prize in any evil contest.” However, she contemplates her choices when he takes her back to his house with its own Satanic massage table, and he ties her to it. John disappears behind a crimson curtain and re-emerges in an Aztec mask, which elicits a “You are weird, aren't you?” from Shirley. Although she warms to the idea when he massages her naked torso with oil: “Maybe I should pay you for this.”, she coos approvingly. However, it all goes south—as the disco funk switches to what sounds like a Bontempi organ being thrown down a wind tunnel—as John proceeds to cut out her heart with a ceremonial knife.
On finding Shirley’s body, the police quickly deduce there is a ritualistic killer on the loose in New Orleans—with one making the astounding deduction, “I believe the perpetrator must have had previous experience with a knife.” Leading the investigation is the ruggedly handsome Frank (Curt Dawson), who sensibly starts his investigation by talking to the two sex workers who fingered Shirley (as it were). One of them, Sherry (Gwen Arment), neglects to mention the killer’s strange predilections for “evil” ladies—but does say that she admired his unusual-looking ring. The one on his finger.
Being that this is the 1970s, policeman Frank and sex worker Sherry begin dating. This is despite her requesting a bottle of Châteauneuf-du-Pape at dinner and him ordering a bottle of Blue Nun instead—albeit with classy chilled glasses. Their romance is shown with a montage of cheesy, soft-focus shots around New Orleans. Meanwhile, some unspecified official (who had clearly visited Amity Island recently) wants to know what the police are doing to catch the killer and not panic tourists with Mardi Gras coming up. Perhaps there was a sex worker convention due in town? On cue, weird John turns up with a fistful of dollar bills, and soon, another lady with bright blue eye shadow is tied to the massage table of doom. Can Frank tear himself away from his pudding bowl-haired lovely long enough to catch the Mardi Gras killer?
MARDI GRAS MASSACRE fails utterly as a thriller. Hell, it’s not even much of a slasher movie. It is arguably not even a slasher movie at all. All the murder scenes are nearly identical, with a naked woman tied to that massage table and a very phoney-looking, rib cage-free latex torso cut open and a heart pulled out. The obvious inspiration is Herschell Gordon Lewis’ BLOOD FEAST (1963). In that film, an Egyptian caterer kills women in gory ways to bring back to life an ancient goddess. Here, John mumbles something about resurrecting an Aztec deity with the unlikely English language moniker of 'Lady of the Serpent Skirt'. However, at least Lewis switched things up with his gory excesses, but here it is very much a case of rinse and repeat—with only the breast sizes changing to differentiate the latex torsos.
However, there is fun to be had here for fans of 70s exploitation and low-rent horror. Again, like Lewis, director Jack Weis clearly isn’t taking this all that seriously. The killer sardonically orders a future victim a fortune cookie when she requests Chinese food, for example. The police also visit an ESP expert (that most 70s of paranormal subjects), who gives them the sage advice that they should try and stop the killings. Although much of it is like amateur hour and the stop-and-start burlesque routines—although adding some tawdry colour to the proceedings—don’t exactly propel the story forward. However, there is enough gonzo weirdness, awkward line readings, 70s hooker and pimp fashion to delight fans of this period. Unexpectedly, as the film proceeds, it is also pimped up with such great low-rent disco/funk bangers that I half expected Andrea True to sashay past at one point in her velvet hotpants.
It is difficult to believe that MARDI GRAS MASSACRE was made in the same year as John Carpenter’s HALLOWEEN. Despite its visual polyester trappings, it might have felt more at home earlier in the decade. Although it goes full STARSKY & HUTCH in its last ten minutes (and I’m sure half of its budget went on propelling that police car into the bay). However, the film would have looked positively antiquated after it was dusted off after years on the shelf and released to grindhouses and drive-ins across North America in late 1982 and through 1983—often second fiddle to better known movies such as THE UNSEEN (1980), JUST BEFORE DAWN (1981) and THE SLUMBER PARTY MASSACRE (1982). It is something of a mystery as to why it remained unreleased for so long (apart from being obviously terrible), but the static and lack of music opening and end credits suggest it was never properly finished during the year it was shot. It certainly wasn’t the kind of film shown to critics, so few reviews exist from this release. However, reporter Arthur Cabasos from The Abilene Reporter-News braved a screening and offered his take on 12 December, 1982. He said: “It was so bad, the cameraman also was the writer, director and producer, Jack Weis.” He noted the not-so-special effects: “When they show the girls’ nude bodies squirming in pain, the close-up shows the jagged edge of the plastic torso from which the fake heart is being removed. As if that weren’t hilarious enough, each girl has a different size heart, with one being about the size of a melon.” He also noted the actors flubbing their lines and some reading them off notes placed on the props. His eagle eye also spotted a mannequin that was supposed to be a live extra. He archly commented: “This is the only film where the extras attempt to upstage the actors.”
Director Jack Weis is something of an enigma. It seems he started out as a regional movie distributor of nudies and other low-budget fare in and around New Orleans. He branched out into writing/directing in the early 1970s with a mix of crime thrillers and melodramas before his first horror film, the supernatural CRYPT OF DARK SECRETS (1976). MARDI GRAS MASSACRE was his Swansong shot in and around New Orleans, including a scene at the famous trans-Burlesque bar Papa Joe’s (although it is not clear if any of the trans performers appear in this). Laura Misch—the film’s first victim— was a Playboy Playmate of the Month in February 1975. She appeared to have a sense of humour about being in the film, saying in a 2005 article for Salon: “I’m sure you’ve seen me in Mardi Gras Massacre, having my innards cut out by a guy wearing an Aztec mask . . . one of the worst movies ever, ever made. I’m proud.”
MARDI GRAS MASSACRE gained its ticket to notoriety when it was caught up in the ‘video nasties’ furore in the UK. It was released on VHS ahead of its US cinema bow in 1982 on the Goldstar label. It was banned in November 1983 and stayed on the list, becoming one of the collectable DPP39s. A typical of the time article in The Herald Express newspaper exclaimed: “If your kid has seen Cannibal Ferox or Mardi Gras Massacre, maybe you deserve everything that is coming to you. The only person who does not deserve it is the child.” Arguably, no viewer deserves the film.
Probably coincidentally, there was a novel released in 1978 with the same title as the movie by Lionel Derrick as part of ‘The Penetrator’ series. Despite its title, it seems that the series was about a Vietnam vet fighting crime and corruption. However, there was an actual novelisation published in 2024 by Brad Carter.
Ultimately, no sane person could argue that this is in any way, shape, or form a good movie. However, it is certainly one of its kind and can be very entertaining in all the wrong ways possible. And what of Jack Weis? Like the villain at the end of MARDI GRAS MASSACRE, he seemingly vanished into the ether after this film was completed and never heard from again.
BODY COUNT 4:
Female 3 / Male 1
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MARDI GRAS MASSACRE trailer