'erotic'? … Erotic my arse! …THE SEDUCTION is as about as sexy as watching MURDER SHE WROTE's Jessica Fletcher lap dancing. However, erotic I can live without, but unfortunately this anaemic flick is about as exciting as watching an average episode of MURDER SHE WROTE- frame by frame. It's got a body-count to match too. Ho- hum…

        What story there is concerns Morgan Fairchild (the back-of-video blurb describes her as an 'incredible beauty' (note the inverted commas)- is that some kind of insult?!) who plays Jamie Douglas, a Los Angeles TV News Reader who's targeting a series of murders that have been 'rocking' LA- going by the name of the 'Sweet-heart Murders'. … Meanwhile she's being plagued by a demented fan, Derek (the name's enough to strike fear into the sternest of hearts) (Andrew Stevens), who has moved in next door to her and is suffering (or so some conveniently placed pop-psychologist ("Mass media to solve mass mental illness") surmises) from 'erotomania'- the mistaken belief that Fairchild is in love with him. He has taken up spying, and photographing her when she's in various states of undress around her house. He phones her to say "I watched you today- you looked beautiful", and, when being a voyeur isn't enough he visits her at work- his obsession becoming more and more insistent. … Fairchild does everything she should do, and at the behest of her boyfriend, Brandon (Michael Sarrazin), she goes to the police- but, wouldn't you know it, it's one of those cases where they can't do anything until he commits a crime. And on it limps to the inevitable 'climax' (note the inverted commas again) where Stevens chases Fairchild from hot tub to bath tub (and back again)…

       THE SEDUCTION is pretty dire. Bad movies I can take- but dull movies I can't abide. … It's the kind of film where you look at the counter and you can't believe so little time has actually passed- thank God I had a good wine to keep me company!

        What's wrong with it? …Well, it'd like to be a Hitchcock type thriller, but it doesn't have the class, or the devilish plot twists to pull that off. … It fails as a slasher movie or even an exploitation flick- think KNOTS LANDING crossed with STRAW DOGS (with added lip gloss). … Fairchild is OK as a beleaguered heroine (despite the fact (or is it just me?) she has the smallest nose in Hollywood)- even if the part only calls for her to flounce around in very little at all (Fairchild in the sauna … Fairchild in the bubble bath … Fairchild taking a skinny dip …oh, you get the picture…). Stevens is OK too- actually, he's better than the part calls for- and certainly better than the material he's given to work with. Admittedly it's quite refreshing to see a screen psycho who's not totally one dimensional, but his transition from jovial child photographer to sweaty knife wielding sex maniac is a little difficult to swallow (regardless of what that pop-psychiatrist witters on about).

        If you think that cheese may save the day you'd be mostly wrong. Admittedly I say mostly… There is one awe inspiring shot of a knife sticking out of a ripe camembert, which any bad slasher flick would be proud of. Morgan Fairchild is pretty campy- but as a former Queen of soapland you'd expect her to be a bit campier. However, she does excel herself in one scene- which predates the kareoke machine as instrument of terror in I STILL KNOW WHAT YOU DID LAST SUMMER. … Stevens, pretending to be a runner, delivers a bogus bit of news to the studio which, in turn, is fed through to the autocue and read by a scenery chewing Ms. Fairchild. She inadvertently starts to read out his protestations of undying love to the nation before having a protracted breakdown on air, as, unsurprisingly, everyone runs around shouting "CUT DAMMIT!". … There is also a death in a hot tub which, in a trashier film might have won the day.

        Amazingly it was directed by David Schmoeller who gave us that inspired bit of surrealist terror with TOURIST TRAP- none of that magic is present here. The other 'big' name associated with this dross is producer Irwin Yablans who obviously thought he could repeat some of the magic from his involvement in HALLOWEEN (1978) and HELL NIGHT (1981) . Ultimately though, THE SEDUCTION is a 24 carrot yawner- a fore-runner to all those Shannon Tweed movies and nothing else. The atrocious sub LAST FEELINGS opening number ("…heart to heart here we are- sharing secrets in the dark."- bleeurgh…) should be more than enough to set the alarm bells ringing.

       If you see this in your local video emporium- run like the wind!

BODYCOUNT 2      female:0 / male:2

       1) Male has knife thrown into back in hot tub
       2) Male shot in stomach